Yesterday I attended a workshop run by Mark Harris, Midwife and author. I’ve been following Mark on social media, podcasts and the radio for a while. At first I was horrified by the thought of a male midwife, but as I listened to him more I was really interested by what he had to say. I was also interested in his course Birthing4Blokes. Recently I have been thinking how little support our partners get with regards to birth, and it was from listening to Mark over the last few months that made me realise how much we expect of them. To come into a birthing room with little or no support for their journey.
The birth of our first son ended in a pretty traumatic, actually very traumatic, instrumental birth. And it did have an impact on our relationship. I talked to my partner about Mark and suggested he get his book, Men, Love and Birth. Which he did. It had an impact almost straight away and he emailed and phoned Mark. And although not my story to tell, I suddenly saw a more relaxed, stronger person in my partner with regards to the birth of our third baby.
So when the opportunity came to attend a workshop locally with Mark I decided to take the leap.
I chose to drive myself this time, usually me attending cpd days involves the whole family but I thought I needed a challenge. It was certainly that with thick fog making driving difficult and bringing me very much out of my comfort zone. But I made it intact and without getting lost.
The day was lovely, there is something very special being surrounded by birth workers, several who I knew, a couple I had read or heard about online and meeting new ones.
This pregnancy has of course not been as sunshine and roses as my first although much easier than my second. Working with Birth Art, meditation and creativity has helped me uncover some of the fears travelling with me during this pregnancy and once uncovered of course the ability to be proactive and work through them. The environment I was in yesterday gave me the confidence to openly talk about a couple of my main fears and get support and tips to work on and ways to prepare for my home birth. The knowledge that these fears would be taken seriously and that help I would get would be given in a way to help me come to conclusions and see ways forward was what I wanted and got in bucket loads.
So that coupled with hearing Mark talk so passionately about birth, the amygdala dance, the primal force of birthing. Laughing hard and having some time to reflect and ponder was a huge refreshing, nurturing, and soul nourishing time. I am left, albeit exhausted; feeling like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, feeling that I have moved forward past what has been a fairly bleak, sad and scary last few weeks.
I am feeling confident, excited and eager to see how (and when) my birth journey unfolds.
I am cosying up by the fire today on this cold March day having some well deserved rest, letting this cold finally run its course and reconnecting with my son, and dipping into Mark’s book.